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Well It's just been too long. Masturbation is not the best but it beats nothing. I just went to the store and bought a pack of salid cucummbers. I like to peel them half way and soak em in hot water. I use virgin olive oil as a rule. Today I had to use smart balance. Just melted a little and it worked fine. smells good too. Now my ass feels good. gotta go . i need to jerk off. It's not the real thing but like I said. Better than nothing.

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